Swine among Pearls
by The Phantom Marshmallow
Summary: When Ed, Al, and Winry are sent to Japan to dig up information, they go undercover as students of Ouran Academy, and Truth only knows what trouble they'll stir up. Rated T for Ed's vocabulary. A Drama/Comedy with a bit of romance towards the end.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Swine among Pearls

**Rating: **T, for Ed's ...er... "colorful" vocabulary

**Summary**: When Ed, Al, and Winry are sent to Japan to dig up information, they go undercover as students of Ouran Academy, and Truth only knows what trouble they'll stir up. Rated T for Ed's vocabulary. A Drama/Comedy with a sprinkle or romance towards the end

**Disclaimer: **I do not claim ownership of Fullmetal Alchemist or Ouran High School Host Club. Each belongs to it's respective owner, and no copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N:** HO SHET. A NEW STORY! :D *bricked*

I completely gave up on Traces of Regret. It needs more than just editing and re-writing. I read it over and over, and it's not that I dislike the plot, I just dislike how fast it moved. The story needs to be a bit longer and slower, and I need to rework the plot a bit for that to happen. So from this point on, until further notice, ToR is on Hiatus. In the mean time, I have a new project!

Swine among Pearls is a crossover story, Between Ouran High School Host Club and Fullmetal Alchemist. And of course, seeing as it is a crossover, this has a ton of AU-ness. Geography, timelines, plots and family trees have been altered :3

Originally, this story was a three-way crossover with Soul Eater, but that messed with the plot. And the moe.

Anyway, this came to me in the middle of Spanish class a week or so ago. It had a different opening chapter (And ponies. It had ponies. :U), but that was because that one didn't have Soul Eater in it. Adding it at first is what made this story better than it was at first, and aside from it having pretty much the same couples, the same plot, the same challenges, and the same clichés that all the other crossovers between these two animes have, I sincerly hope it will be at least a little different.

The title idea came from the (somewhat) combination of the expressions "Pearls before swine," and "Diamonds in the rough."

There will be pairings in here! All Canon, of course. I wouldn't have it any other way, even if you bribed me with a truck full of Pocky.

Inspiration: A box of Pocky, two bottles of Ramune, the song "Period" by Chemistry (FMA:B Opening 4), and 3 consecutive snow days (due to a blizzard) that led right into the weekend.

Anyway, On with the show! Prepare yourself for a bunch of terrible writing! This has been edited only by MS Word, so there will more than likely be mistakes! Bear with me, please! D:

* * *

Haruhi sat on the couch in the supposedly-abandoned music room. The host club had finished business for the day, and they had all hung back to relax after work. However, earlier that day, two girls had been arguing over which of the Hitachiin twins was the better host. They had ignored it while the club was still open for business, but they exchanged smug looks with each other throughout the rest of the time. And as soon as the doors had shut behind the last of their customers for the day, their egos had gotten the best of them, and they were now caught up in continuing the ridiculous argument those two girls had begun.

She was honestly tired of listening to the twin's bickering, but she had no other choice but to sit there and watch, as they were blocking the exit. She knew better than to interfere with their petty arguments, but this was getting on her nerves. She still had to get to the supermarket before heading home, and her classes had given out somewhat generous amounts of homework. Although Haruhi had attempted to get a start on the assignments, it was rather difficult, as the twins had begun to throw projectiles at each other, and she needed to stay focused on avoiding the makeshift weapons that were now flying through the air of the club's meeting room.

Tamaki was stuck between the door, and the fighting brothers. Tired of waiting for the two to stop, or at least move to the side so he could escape, he waved frantically at Kyoya, hoping he would be able to do something about the situation. Kyoya looked up from his laptop, and seeing Tamaki freaking out about being trapped, decided to take action and end this the fight. And he had a perfect idea to do so.

"Everyone, can you all come here for a moment? I have an important announcement to make." Kyoya's tone of voice made it obvious he was just as irritated with the Hitachiin brothers as everyone else was, and to all but the brothers, it was obvious he was attempting to end the brawl. Hiraku and Kaoru froze in place, turning to face Kyoya, with their projectiles still in hand. Reluctantly dropping the objects to the floor, they moved to join the rest of the group, whom had circled around Kyoya, looking at his laptop screen.

On the screen were a few pictures, of people whom none of the hosts had seen before. All of them looked to be foreigners, possibly European? Names were written underneath the photos, all in Katakana (1), confirming the belief of the people being foreign. Tamaki was looking over Kyoya's shoulder, not really saying anything, but looking between the three pictures. Haruhi stood on the other side of him, wondering who the people were, and why Kyoya had enough of an interest in them to look them up in the first place. Before she could ask him though, Honey, who was sitting on Mori's shoulders, beat her to the question.

"Kyo-chan, who are those people?" Honey was obviously curious, as were the twins. Mori was as straight-faced as ever, and Tamaki had a look on his face that Haruhi couldn't really read. Kyoya stood, turning away from the computer to face the group.

"These three people are all new transfer students. They'll be coming from a military academy located in the small European country of Amestris; Considering that they will be arriving on a scholarship, I figured they were worth doing research in to." Haruhi blinked. Scholarship students? That was somewhat rare. But why would they be coming to Ouran? Surely there were better schools closer to their homes. Turning around, she saw that the twins were already deep into planning a so-called 'welcome' party for the group, and Honey seemed to have lost interest, returning with Mori to the table where he had been eating his cake.

Tamaki, however, was still staring at the screen for some unknown reason. Deciding not to question his motives for the time being, she turned to face Kyoya. "Are they really all scholarship students?"

"Yes, they are, in a way. The scholarship was not officially from the Academy, but has been awarded by their school, which has paid the full tuition for the students. None the less, they still count as scholars." Pausing for a moment, he pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. "And another interesting piece of information you might want to know, they seem to be moving into the same apartment complex you live in. Such a strange coincidence." So they would be her new neighbors? Haruhi had wondered when the apartment next to hers would be rented out again. At least this meant she would be able to meet the trio before the host club got a hold of them.

Kyoya then turned to his laptop and closed it, breaking Tamaki of his trance, who shook it off as though it never happened, and swung an arm around Haruhi's shoulder. "Isn't this wonderful, Haruhi? A bunch of new students, and they're all commoners like you! Daddy's so happy that you'll finally have some more friends to play with!" Tamaki was beaming with joy at the unexpected news. Haruhi just rolled her eyes, shrugging his shoulder off.

"Senpai, must you always act so surprised about anything commoner related? And what's with the way you were staring at the laptop? It looked like you were in some sort of trance." Haruhi was honestly curious as to what on the screen had caught his attention.

"Oh, it was nothing, nothing at all, my little darling!" Tamaki was still joyful with the news, and was twirling in place. "Just a few familiar faces!"

Familiar faces? What could he possibly mean by that? Before Haruhi could ask him however, he left the room, skipping out into the hallway in a rather dramatic fashion. Sighing, she followed suit, heading out in hopes of being able to stop at the supermarket before it was too dark outside to do so.

* * *

Edward looked up from the piece of paper he held in his hands, meeting the smug eyes of his superior officer. "Undercover assignment? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly as it sounds, Fullmetal." Roy's voice was as arrogant as the expression on his face. "We need you to infiltrate a school in Japan for us. Seeing as you are the only teenager in this military, you're the only one qualified for this job, but honestly, I still have my doubts as to whether or not you can pull this off."  
"What do you mean by that, you damn Colonel Bastard?" Ed knew he shouldn't have paid any mind to Mustang's superior attitude, but it really did get on his nerves some times. Alphonse, sitting in the chair next to him, looked as though he was ready to have to hold Ed back if he decided to strangle the Colonel.

Winry sat in the chair near the door of the office. She wasn't sure why Colonel Mustang had requested she be here for this briefing, but decided against questioning him. He probably wanted her there to keep the two brothers in line. God only knows how the two hadn't been court-martialed for any of their erratic behavior in the past, specifically Edward's. Sitting up in the chair, wrench in hand, she was just as prepared as Al was to prevent Edward from bringing the Colonel to an early grave.

"Fullmetal, I'm sure you're aware of our country's strained relationship with Japan." Mustang chose to ignore Ed's outburst; he was too used to them already. "Ever since the unexplainable murder of two Japanese diplomats here in Central, the eastern country has been rather wary of our actions. In an attempt to bring peace, we were planning on sending a few diplomats to help explain the situation. That's when the equally unexplainable event concerning the death of three military men on leave visiting Japan occurred, leaving the relationship twice as strained. After careful consideration, as well as some investigative work, we have concluded that the two murders are indeed linked, and are believed to be caused by an extremist group, residing in Japan."

"Well that's all wonderful, but how does me infiltrating a high school have to do with any of this?"

"If you would keep your mouth shut, I was about to get to that point." Honestly, the kid had no patience. "The group is one of prominent wealth, with its own insiders within the Japanese government. There are believed to be a few men in charge of the operation, and two or three of the men suspected to be the ringleaders have a few brats of their own. They all are enrolled within the same high school, Ouran Academy. The academy is one for wealthy blue bloods, however there have been scholarships awarded to students of a middle-class social standing before. Therefore, we have decided to enroll you, your brother, and Miss Rockbell, in to the school on a military scholarship, to gather information for us."

Winry blinked. She was a part of this mission? And Al was as well? They weren't part of the military, and therefore had the right to refuse these orders without fear of punishment, but she kept her mouth shut, interested in exactly what this plan required.

Al, on the other hand, wanted to know why they were a part of this plan. "Colonel Mustang, I may not be in the position to ask this, but why are Winry and I being sent on the mission with Ed? Not that I have a problem with it!" He added hastily, hoping he didn't sound skeptical.

Mustang was expecting this question, and replied with another smug grin. "It's simple, Alphonse. I know that you and Ed spent a lot of your childhood searching for the philosopher's stone, and have been deprived of getting a proper education. Now that your search is over, wouldn't you want the chance to make up for lost time in education, especially considering that you'll be sent to one of the most prestigious schools in the eastern hemisphere?" Al couldn't deny that an education was one thing he had been hoping to get as soon as his body was back to normal. Now that it was, this was as perfect of a time as any. (2) "And as for Miss Rockbell, we can't send Edward to the other end of the world without his mechanic, now can we? Who knows what kinds of trouble he might get in?"

Winry couldn't help but laugh mentally at Edward, who looked positively consumed by his animosity towards the Colonel, and was obviously planning an execution for him. However, she did agree with Mustang. Edward wasn't much of a pacifist like his brother. He had a bad habit of attracting trouble and making enemies, then attacking them head-on instead of calmly negotiating things. It was a result of this behavior that his Automail would often fall apart, leaving him to unexpectedly pop in on her and request a new arm or leg, and leaving again with both the Automail, and a few new indents on his skull, courtesy of her wrench.

Al had grabbed hold of Edward, who was slowly regaining his composure. As soon as his fury had simmered down, Al released him, and he faced Mustang once again. "I suppose you already have everything worked out, accommodations wise at least? Or are you expecting us to find a place to stay on our own?"

"Actually, we do have an apartment picked out for you. Since all three of you are going on a scholarship, not due to your personal wealth, it's not the most luxurious of locations. The apartments, although not shabby, happen to be in an area getting a somewhat indecent reputation due to rising number of gangs in nearby neighborhoods, and residents were worried that the violence would spread to their own, and chose to leave." So they were being sent to live in a gang-infested dump? How wonderful.

"Aside from the students that seem suspicious, we would like for you to possibly look in to a few other students, make some friends, that sort of thing. It would do well for our country to have a good relationship with some of Japan's more influential families. We have a few background reports on some of the students of the more prominent families, but they all happen to be in Japanese, so you may have to translate them.

Winry was growing more excited about this mission now. She had taken a conversational Japanese class before, so she may be able to find out some information on the students joining them. She picked up the report on the top of the stack that sat on the nearby table, and flipped through it, trying to translate. Al had done the same, but not knowing much written Japanese aside from a few phrases, was more interested in the photos.

"So, what about this school then? Where is it, and is it all full of rich snobs?" Edward didn't look forward to the idea of being surrounded by the wealthy. His only experience with wealthy people had been with the Armstrong family, and he did not wish to be subjected to attending a school full of people of the same manner as that. One Armstrong around HQ was enough for him to deal with.

"The school is in the Bunkyō ward of Tokyo. And yes, the majority of the students are of high wealth and social standing. Those of highest intelligence and wealth are placed in the top class of the school, which is where I expect you three will be placed. This however puts us at a disadvantage, considering most of those students worth investigating are in the lower classes. Aside from that fact, this is the easiest method of investigation of these crimes. The Japanese government was not too pleased with the idea, but has accepted it, so you won't be questioned as long as you don't so much to disturb the peace."

Edward sighed. This was certainly a lot more information than he had expected out of the Colonel, but then again, he would more than likely get in trouble for investigating most of these facts on his own, and the Colonel was more than likely giving him the information to prevent him from causing a national uproar. "Anything else worth knowing? Or are you ready to send us away?"

Ignoring the teenager's annoying attitude, Mustang finished the debriefing. "Just know that even though they have heard of it, Japan is not nearly as familiar with alchemy as Amestris is, so limit your use of it. Brush up on your Japanese, and look into the culture a bit. You should hopefully manage not to destroy the country."

Edward stood, stretched, and yawned. The debriefing had taken a bit longer than he had thought it would. Gathering the reports that were still on the table in his arms, he headed towards the door. "Al, Winry, let's go. We've got a bit of studying to do." Al and Winry looked up from the reports in their hands, said goodbye, and followed Ed as he hastily made an exit.

Mustang stared towards the open door of the now empty room, and sighed to himself. "Try not to screw this one up for us, Fullmetal."

* * *

(1) Katakana is the Japanese alphabet used for foreign words or names, such as コンピュータ, pronounced Konpyūta (computer). The alphabet is limited in sounds, and therefore cannot imitate the name perfectly. Those of you who watch subbed animes containing characters with English names, such as Fullmetal Alchemist, may have noticed the fact that the names have been somewhat altered in their pronunciation, and this is the reason for that.

(2) Woo! AU! I made it so Al already had his body back, but Ed didn't get either of his limbs back. Poor Ed! xD But I kept him in the military; It was necessary for plot advancements :D

* * *

** A/N: **Well? Does it suck? D: It probably does. But all that aside, I'm somewhat pleased with this. The idea for an OHSCH/FMA crossover has been swirling around in my head for a week or two. So finally, I did something with the plot bunny, before Lennie could snap the poor thing's neck. (A cookie for whoever understood that reference! And I blame English class for it. We just finished the book :P)

And for those who didn't know, Ed's birthday was two days ago! (Feb. 3rd) *throws confetti* Even though the date's not official, apparently that's what was decided on by everyone else on the internet. My friend did the math, and supposedly, due to the 6 year difference in times between our world and his (See the 'Simple People' OVA), he should be about 106 years old now. Happy (late) birthday, Shrimpy! :D

Thanks for reading this, and please review! All flames shall be directed at Colonel Mustang, and met with equal or greater firepower in return.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **OMFGANOTHERCHAPTER *dies*

I know this update came along rather slowly. That's because I was grounded. For reading FanFiction on my phone. In the middle of the night. :D I'm trying my best to write chapters of a decent length. I dislike short chapters, and honestly, the only time I like short stories is in the form of a one-shot, so I would expect this to go on for a decent amount of chapters. Anyways, I feel… inspired right now, that's why it's actually finished and not just sitting on my computer gathering dust.

And to clear up some information, this is going by the Manga/Brotherhood story for FMA. Which means Al is a bit taller than Ed, And has the same gold eye and hair color.

ANYWAYS. I would like to thank all of my wonderful reviewers! :D (Please forgive the long replies. I have a tendency to be a rather talkative person.)

Greyu-chan: Woo, I'm being followed! … Does that mean you're stalking me? :U

Violettruth: I'll try to update sooner from now on! :D

PennyShort: I know, I started reading them somewhat recently too. Sadly, all my favorite ones are old and forgotten, or slow in updating. I think only 2 in the archive are even complete! D:

Maddy-neko: *throws on a cape* CROSSOVER HERO TO THE RESCUE! *bricked* Glad you like the story so far! And Ed is supposedly 165 cm. But that's with his (Platform! :D) boots and antenna; he's really only 145 cm w

WingedBirdy: Really? :D I had a feeling I made Roy too boring, and not nearly as arrogant as he should be, nor did the twins seem mischievous enough.

DoubleOh: Teehee, I feel the same way about Amestris as a part of our world. I was considering throwing them all into Germany, but then I thought "Wait, that would mean no alchemy! D:" And to be honest, I can't force Ed or Al into a fanfic without alchemy; that would just be cruel! :U

KaiserPhoenix92: Thanks for the compliment! Hopefully this chapter will hold you over for a bit? :3

**WARNING! D: **This chapter may get confusing at some points, due to Tamaki's rather unusual and somewhat-OOC actions, but they'll (hopefully!) fall into place soon.

Chapter inspiration: A bottle of ramune, a few yaoi jokes, and the song "Lost Heaven" by L'Arc en Ciel (FMA: Conqueror of Shamballa ending song :D)

**DISCLAIMER APPLIES HERE! :3**

* * *

Ed sat in the cab, staring out the window with a bored expression plastered onto his face. He, Al, and Winry had arrived in Japan only an hour ago, landing in the airport early in the morning, and he was already sick of the confusing country. It's

A cab had met them at the airport, and was now taking them to their temporary home during their mission. Winry sat in the passenger's seat in front of him, absently flipping through a pamphlet she had picked up at the airport, and Al was in the back of the cab with him, busy studying the scenery outside the windows and committing the landmarks to memory, should they ever get lost.

The driver said something about being only a few minutes away from the apartment at this point, but Ed barely noticed, continuing to stare out the window. He had a bad case of jetlag, and wasn't in a good mood at the moment. He didn't feel like doing anything else at the moment, other than mulling over his thoughts.

The pulled into the parking lot to the side of the building. Yawning, he stepped out of the car and stretched. Each of the teens grabbed their luggage, and Ed fished around in his pocket for the apartment key Mustang had given him before they left. They began to head upstairs, to the top row of apartments, and he read the numbers on the side, looking for their building. As Ed set his bags down, he unlocked the door and turned to pick his bags up. But before he could bend down, Al yelled something, pointing in the opposite direction, and that's when Ed was someone lunging at them.

He charged towards the man, jumped, and flipped over him, turning to sweep his legs out from under him. The man, surprised at the counter attack, wasn't able to dodge in time. He fell on to the pavement face first, allowing Al to easily pin him down.

"Well, well, well. And who do we have here?" Ed asked, spinning on his heel and turning towards the attacker.

* * *

Sighing, Haruhi picked up the tray of teacups, walking into her apartment's dining room, where the Host Club had –somewhat rudely - insisted that they stay until the new transfer students arrived. Kyoya had slipped the piece of information to Tamaki about the transfer students living in this complex, and just as she had feared, the idiot had dragged the club over to meet "Haruhi's new friends," and as much as she insisted that she didn't even know them yet, Tamaki had some odd idea that all commoners knew each other in some way. Knowing that there was no real way to get rid of them at this point, she agreed to let them stay, as long as they kept quiet.

Setting the tray down on the low-rising table, she sat down and picked a cup up, listening to the mindless chatter of the group. Tamaki had started an argument with the twins over commoner's customs. As degrading as the argument was, she did feel the need to correct them. However, as soon as she opened her mouth, she heard the sound of a loud engine outside cut her off.

Before she knew what was happening, the club had gathered around her apartment window, leaving her no room to see what was going on. She had a feeling it was the transfer students arriving, and decided it was most likely best to stay out of the way until the hosts had finished dissecting them. Although she did feel sorry for the unsuspecting new arrivals, she certainly knew that there was nothing she could do to stop them.

She heard the engine outside stop, followed by the slamming of a few car doors. The hosts were stuck to the window at this point, and there was no way that she would be able to see anything without letting herself outside. Opening the door, she saw three people climbing the balcony stairs to the second story of the building, each with a large amount of baggage in their hands, heading towards the empty apartment at the end of the row. She was about to step outside and offer to help them, when someone else ran past her.

Haruhi didn't have a chance to act, before Tamaki ran out the door, heading towards the three new neighbors, and lunged at them, trying to tackle one of them to the ground. She and the other hosts filed out of the apartment to see what just happened. Tamaki had lunged at the shorter blond – was that a girl or guy? She couldn't tell from behind, and the long hair made it confusing – but before Tamaki could grab the person, they spun around – yep, it was a guy! – and flipped over Tamaki, landing behind him and tripping him by sweeping his legs out from under him. The other boy took advantage of the distraction, and pinned Tamaki to the ground.

The shorter blond muttered something in another language. Tamaki was still pinned to the cement floor, face down. The blond walked over to him, crouched down, and grabbed Tamaki by his shirt collar, lifting his face off the pavement. At first, he seemed angered by the surprise attack, but then his face showed surprise, as well as confusion.

The blond said something else. He was still speaking in another language, making it hard for Haruhi to follow, but the surprise and confusion on his face was evident. The other boy released Tamaki, going over to the shorter one.

The taller boy exclaimed something. He was obviously surprised as well, but seemed a bit joyful.

Tamaki muttered something back to them. Whatever language they were speaking, apparently Tamaki spoke it as well, and rather fluently at that.

Haruhi still had no what was going, and the blond girl who was with the two boys seemed equally as confused as she and the other hosts were. Haruhi was about to step up and ask for an explanation, but Kyoya grabbed her shoulder and held her back. He had a knowing look in his eyes, as though he already knew more about the situation then he led on, as he did most of the time.

* * *

"Damn, not even here for 5 minutes and already we've been attacked?" Sighing, Ed walked over to the offender, grabbing him by his shirt collar and lifting his face off the cement. However, he wasn't prepared for what, or rather who, faced him next. Blinking, he stared back at the attacker. "Tamaki? Is that you?" He asked, unsure of what was happening. Edward was honestly surprised when he looked down into the face of the teen, and saw his cousin staring back at him.

Al was still pinning him down, but at the mention of Tamaki's name, released him and went to see if Ed was right. Seeing Tamaki look up at him and Ed, he was as shocked as Ed was. "Tamaki! What are you doing here?" Although Al had no objections to a surprise visit from family, he certainly wasn't expecting his rich older cousin to come flying out of the blue and attempt to tackle them. Seeing their cousin sprawled out on the cement in front of them was odd enough, but both of the brothers had noticed one peculiar thing about the crazy teen: He was wearing the Ouran Academy uniform. So they'd be in school with him?

"Yeah, it's me. Now will you let me go please?" Although Al had let go of Tamaki, Edward still had a grip on his shirt collar. Edward blinked, still a bit shocked by the situation, but obliged and released his grip.

"Heh, sorry about that, Tamaki! You just surprised us!" Grinning, Alphonse offered a hand to Tamaki and helped him up. "I see you're still fluent in Amestrian. Not to sound rude or anything, but what brings you here?" Although he had gotten over the initial shock, Alphonse was still curious about why Tamaki was here.

Tamaki brushed the dirt off his uniform quickly, before facing the brothers once again. "I was just visiting a friend who lives here. But why are you two here?"

"We got sent here on a scholarship. We're supposed to be attending this big, fancy school called Ouran Academy," Ed explained, rubbing his temples. The whole situation was starting to annoy him, and he was getting a headache. "Supposedly, this is where were supposed to be staying." He jerked his thumb at the unopened door to their apartment.

"Well, I suppose that means we'll be sing more of each other then! My friends and I all attend Ouran as well, so we'll be able to help you out if you need anything!" Tamaki seemed pretty happy about this news from what Edward could gather, almost too happy. He was kind of worried about exactly what the guy was planning, but pushed the thought aside.

Winry was still just standing there, hand hovering above the doorknob of the building's entrance. She was rather confused by the recent events. Sighing, she set her bags down on the ground outside the door, facing the three boys. She was determined to get an explanation, even if it meant her wrench would be doing most of the questioning. "Ed? Al? I'm lost. Can you explain to me what's going on?" She asked, walking up to the brothers.

"Huh? Oh, sorry Winry!" Alphonse rubbed the back of his neck, rather embarrassed that he and Ed had forgotten she was there for a moment. "Winry, you remember our cousin Tamaki, right? He came down to visit us during Christmas that one year."

Vaguely, she was able to recall the memory. Tamaki and Ed had gotten into a fight over who got to open the first present on Christmas Day, and even though he wasn't a part of the argument, Alphonse had won.

Tamaki turned his attention from the brothers to Winry at that moment, choosing to introduce himself in a very host-like manner. "Winry, It's a pleasure to see you again. You look as lovely as ever," he said, taking her hand and kissing it. Her face turned red as a tomato, and she was about to reach for her wrench, when he turned away to face the brothers again.

"Seeing as you'll be staying for a while, I may as well introduce my friends here!" Tamaki motioned to the group behind him, all clad in the same uniform as his. Gesturing to each of the members, he told each of their names to the group.

"…And the twins over there are Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin, good luck sorting them out. And last but not least," He gestured to the short brunette that stood to his right, "Is Haruhi Fujioka." Ed noticed the grin on his face enlarge at the name, and it took him a few moments, but he figured out why. But when the realization hit him, he was a bit taken aback.

'_Wait a second. THAT'S Haruhi?'_ Ed thought to himself. He glanced at Tamaki, then at the brown-haired boy that stood beside him. He had heard about Haruhi from the letters exchanged between Tamaki and Al, who was determined to stay in contact with any family they had left. From what he could gather, Tamaki had quite an attraction to Haruhi, but he had been under the impression that Haruhi was a girl. Yet here …'he' was, in the boy's school uniform. After a quick glance though, Ed was pretty sure that something was odd about him. The way he looked, his posture, his too-large-to-be-male eyes… all of it seemed so feminine! If Ed had ever been positive about anything at that moment, it was that Haruhi Fujioka was definitely a girl, albeit a girl in men's clothing.

Of course, he still felt entitled to poke some fun at his cousin, now that he knew one of his little secrets. And he had the perfect innocent little question to drive him insane.

"…Tamaki? …Are you gay or something?"

* * *

"WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"

Haruhi was utterly lost at this point. First, the new kids seemed to be introducing themselves to Tamaki (She had gathered that much when his host side had started to show through and he had kissed the blond girl's hand). Then, they seemed to be reminiscing or something. After that, Tamaki had begun gesturing wildly at the group of hosts. The next thing she knew, Tamaki was red-faced, and yelling at the short blond, who was obviously doing his best not to laugh, but failing miserably.

The blond girl, yet still a bit confused, was obviously annoyed by her friend's actions. Whipping a wrench out of her pocket, she brought it down hard on his head, colliding with his skull. She yelled something at him, in a rather annoyed tone, and kept the wrench in her grasp, obviously still debating whether or not he needed another smack with it. The taller blond was standing off to the side, out of the crossfire, and looking somewhat embarrassed about what just happened.

The short blond muttered something, before turning to face Haruhi and Tamaki. He held his hand out and grinned. "Sorry about that. No hard feelings?" He finally said in Japanese. Tamaki took his hand and shook it.

"Yeah, yeah. You say that now. But what about you and Winry? Surely there's something going on between you two? After all, the last time I visited, I remember how close you two were." Tamaki had switched back to Japanese as well at this point. Haruhi had no clue what he had meant by that statement, but it obviously bothered the blond girl – Winry? – and the short boy. The two transfer students both blushed, each a furious shade of red, as they stuttered incoherently, waving their hands in front of their faces in a dismissive manner.

"I-I Have no clue what you're talking about!" The boy stammered, looking somewhat pissed. The girl looked ready to hit Tamaki with the wrench, still clenched in her hand.

Haruhi was honestly tired of all of this, especially trying to figure out what they were saying, and decided to put a stop to it. "Tamaki-senpai, are you going to introduce us to your friends here?" she asked in annoyed tone, poking him in the side.

Looking down at Haruhi, it took Tamaki a moment to realize what she was talking about. "Oh, right, sorry about that!" He said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, before making a grand gesture to the trio of foreigners. "Host club, I'd like you to meet my cousins, Edward and Alphonse, and their friend Winry."

Cousins? Haruhi blinked. It seemed that no one in the host club expected that (except for Kyoya of course.) But, come to think of it, she could see some resemblance; the two boys both had blond hair like Tamaki, if a different shade at least, and the shorter one did sound a lot like Tamaki. Their eye colors didn't match, but like Tamaki's, theirs weren't a common color like blue or brown. All in all, she didn't have too hard of a time believing it. As for their friend, she seemed like a nice enough person, if a little baffled by all of this madness.

However, she did find it strange that the transfer students would be related to Tamaki. Not to mention that they would be living in her apartment building. For all she knew, this was one of Tamaki's elaborate schemes so he and the other hosts would have an excuse to drop by more often. It was annoying enough when they stopped by out of the blue as it was, but with family nearby, Tamaki was likely to be here almost every day! Groaning inwardly, she prayed that this wouldn't be the case.

The other hosts were already making their introductions to the newcomers, who seemed fluent enough in Japanese to make small talk. Haruhi hung back a bit, deciding it might be better to introduce herself later once all the madness died down a bit. The groups were animatedly chatting, but Haruhi wasn't paying much attention to that. She was more focused on something else.

Out of the corner of her eye, she thought she saw someone watching them. When she turned around though, no one was there. She shrugged it off, figuring it was just a shadow. But she couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching her.

Unbeknownst to Haruhi, her suspicions were more than just her imagination.

* * *

**A/N:** … Worst. Cliffhanger. Ever. ._. It took me half an hour to come up with too! D: *jumps off the cliff of failure*I also feel like I made Haruhi and Winry into brainless idiots in this chapter. Hopefully, they shall redeem themselves in the future!

Short chapter is short. My apologies. :U

Just a notice: Today's my birthday! :D *bricked* I'm not trying to promote it. I just wanted you to know I got an iPod Touch (4th gen.), so If I'm suddenly inactive, blame that. And if you can make any app recommendations, I'd appreciate it! :D

Also, from this point forward, I plan to do my best to include something worth reading at the end of each chapter! :D For this one, I took the time to do some googling (is that even a word? :U), and managed to find some similar voice actors in the English dubs of Ouran and FMA. Sorry if some of the side-comments I made are obvious to you, they may not be for other readers. Some of these relations will also explain the confusing family tree in this story, such as why Ed, Tamaki, and Alphonse are all cousins :D

- Vic Mignogna: Ed and Tamaki

- Caitlin Glass: Haruhi and Winry

- Travis Willingham: Takashi (Mori) and Mustang (Hard to notice though, Mori rarely speaks! D:)

- Todd Haberkorn: Ling Yao (FMA Brotherhood/Manga character) and Hikaru

- J. Michael Tatum: Kyoya and Scar (o_o ?)

- Luci Christian: Mitsukuni (Honey) and Truth (Once again: o_o ?)

- Monica Rial: Renge and May Chang (FMA Brotherhood/Manga character)

- Patrick Seitz: Nekozawa and Sloth (FMA Brotherhood/Manga character)

- Mike McFarland: Ranka (Haruhi's Dad) and Jean Havoc

Thanks for reading, all reviews are appreciated, and all flames shall be used to roast marshmallows ('cause Roy's on vacation)

***NOTICE!* **This story is in need of a beta reader! Any volunteers for the job will be appreciated!


	3. UPDATE! NOT A NEW CHAPTER!

A/N: Hey, I just wanted to let you know that it may be a while till the next chapter is out!

Life is getting a little crazy, so I haven't had time to write it. I have a bunch of late/missing homework to find and turn in, two books and a play to read for English, a disaster of a house to help clean, and a bunch of other crap. Not to mention that I found out that one of my old troop-mates from girl scouts passed away yesterday from brain cancer, so that's got me all depressed.

Sorry to rant about my personal life. Just needed to get that off my chest. :/

It may be a while in coming, but this story will not be canceled if I have anything to say about it. Unfortunately, I usually don't. ._.

I do have the next chapter planed out, I'm just working out the dialog in my head, and as soon as that's done, I'll write as soon as I have time.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** OH HEY. Guess I decided to start writing again after all? I had a free night, so I'm using it while I can, cause my week is all booked for the foreseeable future. So after rolling around on my bed for 5 minutes yelling "DERP!", I finally got off of my butt and decided to be productive. And instead, I wrote this :D *bricked* But seriously. This took me a while to come up with, hence the lacking of updates.

Also, no, this wasn't put on hiatus! D: The last chapter was just a notice as to the possible lack of fast updates.

And you can also add another thing onto the list of why I haven't posted this yet: Anime! *hit by traffic cone* I started watching 4 different animes recently: Bleach (Left off on ep. 7), Death Note (ep. 2), K-ON! (Finished season 1 earlier today, looking for season 2) and Vampire Knight (I read most of the manga, and I left off when ***SPOILER*** Yuuki finds out she's Kaname's vampire sistah and they proceed with teh incest, ***END SPOILER*** and I left off on ep. 4).

DISCLAIMER APPLIES HERE. Derp derp derp.

Enough with this note! On with the story!

* * *

"Hello? Earth to Haruhi? Are you still with us?" Blinking, Haruhi finally noticed the hand waving in front of her face, attached to one of the twins, both of whom were staring at her, confused about the spacey look on her face.

"Huh? Oh, sorry. I got a little lost in thought for a moment."

"Is that all you commoners ever do is think? Don't you have people to do that for you?"

"Oh, shut it Hikaru. That joke got old before you said it." The annoyed tone in her voice must have been enough to get the troublemakers to back off for once. Sighing, she pushed herself off of the wall she was still leaning on. "Anyway, I should probably be going. I still have to go to the market before the sale ends tomorrow."

"But Haruuuhiiiii, you haven't met our new friends yet!" Tamaki complained dramatically, as the trio of foreigners stood there, looking a bit embarrassed by all the attention they had received so far.

The taller one – Al, was it? – stepped forward. "Don't worry about it; we can get to know each other later!" He said, grinning. "Besides, we still have to unpack." The short one – Ed? It was going to take a while to get used to the foreign names- groaned at the prospect of unlading boxes, but Winry nudged him in the side, effectively silencing him.

"Oh, you shouldn't have to do that; give me a second and I'll have a team of movers here to-"

"That's okay, Tamaki!" Al refused. "But thank you for the offer though, that's very generous of you." Haruhi mentally rolled her eyes; if only Alphonse knew how much he was stroking Tamaki's already too-big ego.

"But it's no big deal at all, I think I have one on speed dial-"

"Tamaki, maybe you guys should just let them unpack already?" Tamaki looked over at her with the face of a scolded puppy. Sighing, she added "I'll let you go to the market with me if you'll leave them alone," even knowing she would regret it.

Tamaki's face lit up at that; he had such an odd obsession with anything related to being a 'commoner.' "You heard her men, to the market!" Honey and the twins cheered, following Tamaki as he made a mad dash down the stairs, and nearly running into him when he suddenly stopped, halfway down the steps. Turning around, he looked back up at Haruhi.

"Haruhi… Where's the market at?"

Sighing, Haruhi ran a hand through her short hair. She still didn't understand why she continued to be part of this crazy group. Making her way over to the stairs, she hid a small smile from the group. As much as she disliked admitting it, she really had grown attached to the eccentric group of teenage boys.

"Just follow me, okay? And don't get distracted and run off again like last time either!"

* * *

Silently, Ed thanked Haruhi for taking his crazy cousin off of their hands. As the group left, he turned around picking up the apartment key from the ground where it fell when Tamaki attacked him. Unlocking the door, he stuck his head inside.

"Huh, strange place Mustang picked out," he said, walking inside and flipping on the light switch, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the bright fluorescent lights. The first thing he noticed was that the apartment was already furnished with any essentials they might need; the rest they could go buy after they finished settling in.

The second thing that stood out was the floor. The part closest to the door was lower than the rest of it. There were a few pairs of slippers near the ledge, one for each person.

"What's up with the floor?" Al's question mirrored his thoughts exactly.

Winry walked in then, carrying her bags and a suitcase, no doubt filled to the brim with Automail parts. "Oh, I've seen this before! It was in one of the cultural pamphlets I picked up at the airport. You're supposed to take your shoes off and wear slippers or go barefoot inside the house. I'm not sure why exactly, the pamphlet didn't explain that part." Setting the bags down, she bent down to take her shoes off. "There were a couple other odd customs too, like if the floor has a tatami mat, you have to be either barefoot or only have socks on, so you won't damage it. They even have special slippers for use in just the bathroom."

"It seems to me like this country is obsessed with footwear," Ed muttered. "It's all so strange; I don't see why it matters what you wear in your own house." Turning around, he headed back to the cab to get the rest of the bags.

Alphonse took off his shoes and found a pair of slippers, stepping into the room and walking down into the hallway to see the other rooms. There were two bedrooms, one for him and Ed, and another for Winry. There was also a bathroom, a dining room, and one small empty room that they could probably turn into something else later on. The rooms were all about the same size, and barely furnished. It was a good thing they would still have access to Ed's military funds. And if Ed complained, they could always get a reimbursement later. After all, this was a mission, and it was necessary for them all to blend in, so if certain furnishings were needed for the mission to be successful, then so be it.

Ed came back in a few moments later, with the rest of the bags, dropping them rather noisily on the wooden floor before kicking his shoes off and walking to the room, flopping down onto a couch. "Well, that's all the bags; what now?" he asked, propping his feet up on the short table in front of the couch.

Winry glared at him. "Geez Ed, we've only been here for half an hour! Can you try to act civilized for the first day at least?" Ed rolled his eyes, but complied and took his feet off the table.

Turning around, Winry dug through one of her bags, pulling out three copies of what looked like some sort of instruction manual, and handed one each to Ed and Al. "Here, read these. Lieutenant Hawkeye gave them too me before the plane took off; they're the school's handbook."

Al was impressed. "It's pretty big for a handbook. What all could they have put in here I wonder," he said, flipping through the pages, trying to make sense of the confusing kanji characters scattered on the paper. "I think this chapter might be a list of rules… and this one is a list of the classes."

Ed looked over at Al's book before flipping to the same page. "Yeah, it is a class list. I wonder what they offer as electives here." Ed slowly read through the list, translating in his mind, but stopping on the middle of the page. After staring at the same two or three characters for a minute, he tapped Al on the shoulder. "Hey, do you have any idea what this says?"

Al leaned over and looked at the words. "I think that says it's a mechanics class."

At the mere mention of the word 'mechanics,' Winry began to squeal. "Oh I was hoping they would have a class like this! Japan is famous for having some of the most advanced electronics and mechanics in all of Asia!" Ed automatically tuned her out as she continued to talk to herself about all the exciting things she might learn to help her with her Automail business, choosing to go back to the list of electives.

"Let's see… Cooking, art, classical music… Don't they have anything else here? I've seen public high schools with better elective options than this!"

Al just shrugged. "Well, it is a school for the rich. Obviously the cultural difference would call for more refined activities." Turning a few pages ahead, Al began to browse the list of after school clubs. "They may not have many good electives, but they do have so interesting clubs! They have a kendo and a judo club, so they obviously must have a few students talented in martial arts."

Ed scoffed. "They're probably not anywhere near as talented as sensei is. She'd probably kick all of their butts in a matter of minutes!" Al shuddered. Although he didn't comment, he did agree with that face; their teacher was a force to be reckoned with.

"They also have a science club. And one for art, one for music, and… a host club? What's a host club?"

Winry stopped obsessing about Automail long enough to reply. "Isn't that what your cousin called all of his friends, the host club? Maybe you could ask one of them," she said, going straight back to her Automail fantasies.

However, before either brother could reply, a knock sounded at the door. Ed was too busy complaining about his inability to read Japanese, and Winry was too deep in thought to have noticed the knock, so Al went to answer the door.

"Hello?" He asked, peaking around the opening of the door to see who it was. Thankfully, he recognized her. "Oh, hello Haruhi!"

Haruhi smiled. "Hello, Alphonse. I just came by to see how you guys were adjusting. It must be pretty tough to have to learn the culture of another country in such a short time."

Al laughed. "Actually, I think my brother is the one having the hardest time. For someone usually so smart, he just can't seem to understand written Japanese." Stepping back, Al opened the door wider. "Come on inside, Haruhi!"

Winry looked up from the handbook, tilting her head backwards to get a view of the doorway, "Oh, Haruhi! Nice to see you again. How are you?"

"I've been better," she sighed, stepping into the apartment and taking her shoes off. "Those idiots wore me out; dragging me down every single aisle of that supermarket."

"Why were you at the supermarket?" Al asked, confused. "I thought rich people had personal shoppers."

Haruhi looked over at Al for a moment, a bit taken aback by the question. "Oh, no, I'm not rich! Not even close!" She added with a small laugh.

Ed stopped ranting at the handbook long enough to jump into the conversation. "Then what's with the uniform? I thought everyone at Ouran was some stuck-up rich bastard." Al glared at him for his use of language, before turning back to Haruhi.

"Actually, I'm a scholarship student, like you three. I was able to attend Ouran for my brains instead of my wealth, which I guess is pretty lucky, considering they rarely give scholarships out." Haruhi leaned up against the wall. "I don't have a car and chauffer, or maids and butlers working in a mansion. I actually live in this apartment building too, a few rooms away, just me and my dad. It's been that way almost as long as I can remember, ever since my mother past away."

"Well, I guess we can relate on that," Al said with a sad look. Ed just stiffened, turning his attention back to the book. "Our mother passed away when I was 9, and our father had left us while I was too young to remember him."

"Wow, that is tough. Where did you stay after that?" The question was innocent enough, but Haruhi could sense that the brothers and their friend really didn't seem to want to talk about it.

"We, ah, stayed with Winry and her grandmother. They were nice enough to take us in. After about a year though, we moved to Central City, to attend the Amestrian military school. Winry came to join us about two years later, since Resembool, the town we're from, is rather small and a bit far behind in education standards." Al responded with the background story Mustang had created for the mission.

Haruhi seemed to buy the story. "So, what's it like in Amestris? Is it different from Japan?" She asked, hoping to change the subject to something a little less mood-dampening.

"Oh, it's very different!" Winry exclaimed. "Amestris is so quaint and old fashioned, but Japan is so advanced! The cars and airplanes, the building structures, computers and phones, it's so amazing!" Haruhi noticed that she had a bit of a dreamy look n her eyes as she listed all the ways Japan was more advanced than her home. "It's just such a shame that you don't have Automail here. Then it would be perfect, even better than Rush Valley!"

"Automail? What's that?" Haruhi asked. Winry noticed her mistake too late, covering her mouth while Ed glared at her for screwing things up. Automail was one of those technologies that Amestris kept on the down-low, a secret for their own citizens. The neighboring countries knew what it was, but none of them knew how it worked, and it was near impossible for foreigners to get a license to learn how to make it.

Fortunately, Al came to the rescue again. "Automail is just a type of prosthesis. Winry's parents were doctors, so she's always held an interest in that kind of thing." He managed to explain, without giving out too many details.

Haruhi seemed to get the hint that whatever it really was, it was something they shouldn't talk about. "So, what else is different? Culture-wise, to be specific," she clarified.

"Well, for one thing, we don't have this crazy floor system," Ed complained, barely loud enough to hear, although he shut up again when he saw the metallic flash of Winry's wrench from the corner of his eyes.

Had this been an anime, Al would have had at least a thousand sweat drops fall down his face at this point. "Aside from the floors, we're a military state. Most people who don't run a business of their own work for the military to defend our country. Our last leader passed away during a riot, and since then, many other countries have been trying to take advantage of all the pandemonium." Al figured it was safe to say that much; it was nothing a quick search online wouldn't have told her anyway,

"What about your hometown, Resembool was it? Is it a busy city or rural?" Ed stiffened again; he knew that she wasn't trying to pry, but just talking about home still brought back bad memories.

"Well, it's definitely rural. Our main export is probably sheep's wool." Ed replied, trying to make an effort to be social. "It's one of those small towns where everyone knows everyone, and therefore they know everyone's business. Like Al said, the school's pretty far behind. It's really just a small one-room schoolhouse, but considering most of us grew up to take over family farms, there wasn't much of a call for a degree in something like quantum physics." There was a small hint of homesickness in his voice, as much as Edward would deny it.

"There wasn't much to do there, so we usually ended up making up all sorts of crazy games. Anything from simple stuff like hide and seek, to games like tag where all the kids in the village played." Al picked up where Ed left off. "It may not have been the most exciting place to live, but it was better than Central in my opinion. Central was crazy then, what with the rebellions in Ishval."

"Ishval? Where's that?"

"It's one of the regions of Amestris, in the west. It used to be a separate country, but the military annexed it in. In a nutshell, the Ishvalans were upset with that, and that's what lead to the Ishvalan rebellion." Al replied. "But enough about our home, can you tell us anything about Japan?"

"Sure, why not?" Haruhi shrugged. "But what do you want to know?"

"Well, would you mind explaining what the host club is?" Ed asked, pointing to the club name in the handbook.

Haruhi walked over and picked up the book, reading over the list. "I still can't believe that Kyoya-Senpai convinced the school to actually list us as a club," she muttered, hand the book back to Ed. "It's a pretty useless club. All we ever do is waste money to flirt with girls, who actually spend money for the false compliments. In short, it's a waste of time."

"It's a club… to flirt with girls?" Al asked, somewhat confused. "That does seem somewhat odd… But then, why did you join? Not that I have anything against that!" he hastily added, hoping not to seem rude.

"I originally joined because I had a debt to the club. I… accidentally knocked over a vase worth eight million yen," she explained, somewhat sheepishly. "I've paid the debt off, but even If I did leave at this point, I'm sure Tamaki would probably come up with another excuse to follow me around."

"Wow, impressive debt," Ed whistled. "But if you really wanted him to leave you alone, you probably could have just told him off."

"Yeah, I suppose, but I've got too much free time as it is. At least this way I'm able to have some fun instead of sitting at home, bored out of my mind." Haruhi pushed herself off the wall and walked towards the door. "Anyway, I should probably get going now. I didn't mean to intrude like this, you guys probably still have a bunch of unpacking to do. Sorry for the interruption!"

"Oh, don't worry about it!" Winry said cheerfully. "It's nice to know we won't be alone at Ouran at least, or here in the apartment either!"

Al nodded. "Thanks for stopping by!" Haruhi waved, heading out the door for her own apartment, and Al turned around and yawned before heading for one for the bedrooms. "Well, I don't know about you two, but I'm beat. I'm going to head to bed early, see you in the morning."

Winry stood up and stretched before heading to her own bedroom. "That actually does sound like a good idea Al. I'll see you two in the morning."

Ed stood up and followed suit as well, not bothering to change as he flopped down on his bed in his and Al's room. "So, tomorrow's our first day, right Al?"

Al rolled over on his bed to face his brother. "Yeah, I guess it is. I'm actually a little nervous, what about you?"

Ed shrugged, though it wasn't noticeable when he was lying down. "Not really. I'm more worried about all of the insane crap Tamaki's going to make us do. I swear, if I had known he went to Ouran, I would have turned down this mission in a heartbeat."

"Oh, I'm sure we'll be fine brother. Tamaki won't be able to force us to do anything against our will."

"Yeah, " Ed agreed. "But I still can't wait to see how tomorrow turns out," he added sarcastically.

* * *

A/N: OMFG. IT'S FINALLY DONE. ;A;

I had such a bad case of writer's block. I started this on Saturday, and didn't finish until late at night on Monday. I was too lazy to update the author's note at the beginning though. I want to post this before I end up falling asleep at the keyboard, so sorry, no review replies today, I'll add them for the next chapter though! Sorry for the long wait, but hopefully the next chapter will come sooner since I actually have some ideas for it. I did my best to make this one long, but I have a feeling I was just rambling through most of it. ._. Anyway, R n' R, por favor! :3

Also, I have a beta for this story now! Thanks to Insanity Drives for taking the job! I didn't have this chapter beta'd, but from this point on, he'll be checking over this crap for me! owo


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